hey everyone!! hope you had a blessed and wonderful Easter with your family and friends. “Up from the grave He arose! with a mighty triumph o’er his foes; he arose a victor from the dark domain, and He lives forever with his saints to reign. He arose! He arose! Hallelujah! Christ Arose!” We have had a great day. Em was a bit fussy this morning, mostly because she was being persistent (in a not so good way where she wanted to pull the computer cord and mommy said “No” 3,000,000 times and had to ask for help from daddy!). Nonetheless, she was all gussied up in her beautiful new dress from Grandma Kim when we left for church.
Kim
Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, oh my soul!
- April 24, 2011
- Baby Girl Stokes, Clearing It Up
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persistence, persistence
- April 22, 2011
- Baby Girl Stokes, Clearing It Up
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For a while now, we’ve been watching Emme try to walk. At first, you could put her feet on the ground and show her how to stand there holding your fingers… then in the past month, she would walk around holding your fingers… then pushing her toys everywhere… then reaching from person to person or other objects to get to her destination. She can be pretty persistent when she wants to go somewhere, trying to get your fingers. She will even turn around and hunt for your hands if you try to hide one!
a tale of two women
- April 4, 2011
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“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way—…” Thank you, Charles Dickens.
Today I became acquainted with two women who are extremely different. The first, made me completely ashamed to call myself a “Christian” in so many ways. If you follow this blog, you may know that I work in a cancer doctor’s office. You may also know he is a Muslim and that doesn’t bother me. What does, however, bother me, is the attitude of patient #1 today. She was a new referral to the office who insisted she know my bosses religion before she would be seen. We let him answer that directly for her and offered her to go to another office. She declined leaving. However, I spent a RIDICULOUS amount of time with her as she explained, “It’s about religion for me…. It matters… It’s just important to me… I pray to God and he prays to Mohammad.” I’m a southern girl. I can be nice and sweet. I can also be very direct. So I asked, “How is it different if you are white and he is black? He won’t treat you any differently.” “That’s not the same,” she replied. “What if he was Jewish, would that matter?” “I just can’t explain it to you, you don’t know me, but for my reasons, no.” I attempted to go back in church and Biblical history enough to explain to her the gray area she is pressing into, but she wasn’t well-versed enough in the Bible to know where she was going. Closed-minded. Is he going to care for her any differently than anyone else? No. Is she going to get top notch care? Yes. REGARDLESS of her religious preference or feelings toward him. Today, he had more grace and poise than this woman who claimed to be a “Christian”. It makes my stomach churn to even think of her.
The second woman was one of the most stunning examples of Christianity I have ever seen and she never told me she was a Christian. She was standing behind another lady in line for the checkout window. Patient A (in front) was told she had a $211 balance (she’s been paying on it for a while). She politely asked if she could write a check for $20. Of course we said yes. She’s a good patient. She’s struggling. She’s depressed. She’s a cancer survivor but not all survivors are hopeful. Her spouse is also a cancer survivor. She admitted to me today she is depressed but doesn’t want to take meds. Patient B waited patiently for her turn. When she got to the window, she told our checkout girl she didn’t mean to overhear, but she was going to pay that lady’s $211 balance… in full… tear up the $20 check she wrote. Send her a note that says it was paid anonymously, as a gift from God.
What a day. It is the best of times.. it is the worst of times… it is the age of wisdom and the age of foolishness…
Father God, help me to see your ways this clearly everyday. Thank you, Lord, for shining examples of your Love. Please open the eyes of my first patient today. Help her to see you work in many vessels, not just the ones she expects.
the difference
- March 20, 2011
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I work in the cancer business. In my line of work, I commonly use the phrase, “Isn’t it amazing the difference just one year makes?” I use it for the patients who were soooo extremely anxious when I first met them, to the point they could barely hear, “You’re gonna be ok,” (Note: This particular subset of patients have very early disease with a terrific prognosis…like >95% at 10 yrs.) After one year, they’ve overcome the battle. They are moving back to normalcy again. Many times, their entire perspective on life has changed. I also use it for patients who are “go-getters” (kind of like myself). The ones who run and run and work and work and their cancer just slows them right on down, knocks them for a loop. Their perspective on life is also different.
That brings me to where I am now, not with cancer (praise, God), but with Emme. I can’t believe that (almost) 1 year ago, my water broke at 3 a.m.! I was happy being married and living with Robbie. I had some idea my world would change, but I had no inkling just how much. The following hours were painful, the following days surreal. We were parents.
In the following weeks/months, finding the balance between work and family has been much harder. I hate leaving her for work some days. Some days I cry the whole way to work after I drop her off. Sometimes I just call my mama. 
She always knows how to make it better…
Oh, the difference the last year has made for Emily, who has grown and cooed and giggled and rolled and “da-da’d” and splashed and cuddled and crawled and now stands and tries to walk… my baby is no longer a baby! :) Here’s some photos from her birthday party this weekend.
love doubts…
- February 13, 2011
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It’s hard to believe Valentine’s day is tomorrow. In the past 12 months, my vision of “Love” has changed so much, it is difficult to express in words! The overwhelming love I feel for Em each and every day is amazing, and because I love her more and more, it feels like I love Robbie more and more and when it feels like I love them more it feels like I love EVERYBODY more! It seems like with this overflowing fountain of love abundance I would be bouncing like Tigger all the time!
But, alas, that is not how the world works, not how life works. In the past 2 months, I have watched 2 people who are dear to me suffer loss. One the loss of a child, one the loss of a husband. I have tried to intercede for them in prayer. I have tried to encourage and support them. Have I done a good job? God only knows. I hope so. Has any of it been helpful? God only knows. But hopefully they know I am here if they ever needed anything at all.
It’s easy to see God’s love in the good times, isn’t it? To see his joy, like he’s smiling down on you. But what about the bad times? What does God’s love look like then? The mother who has lost her child feels cheated, purposeless. The God who “loves” her has taken her child from her at age 6. The widow feels abandoned, betrayed, her self-worth is in question, she is persecuted and some nosy people are judging her. The God who “loves” her has “let this happen” (as people say). The lies have run so deep. How can these two strong women of faith move forward? It’s enough to make even this love-high person start to doubt love… what it looks like, what it is, that I have it in my life, that I even begin to grasp it.
Then God reminded me that I can believe in love; I can believe in him and that he has it all under control. Because “Love is patient, Love is kind, it does not boast or envy. It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” (1 Cor 13: 4-8)
These friends are making it, even with the struggles facing them, because they believe in the Love of God more than the love of man. Praise God for his many blessings in my own life and for the strength he has given my friends. Lord, please continue to hold them in your arms and give them peace. Please pray for my friends and for those around you who are struggling with Love.
I know this has not been the happiest, post, so here are a few pics to brighten it up.
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