Invent

Kim

the difference

I work in the cancer business. In my line of work, I commonly use the phrase, “Isn’t it amazing the difference just one year makes?”  I use it for the patients who were soooo extremely anxious when I first met them, to the point they could barely hear, “You’re gonna be ok,”  (Note: This particular subset of patients have very early disease with a terrific prognosis…like >95% at 10 yrs.)  After one year, they’ve overcome the battle. They are moving back to normalcy again.  Many times, their entire perspective on life has changed.  I also use it for patients who are “go-getters” (kind of like myself). The ones who run and run and work and work and their cancer just slows them right on down, knocks them for a loop.  Their perspective on life is also different.

That brings me to where I am now, not with cancer (praise, God), but with Emme. I can’t believe that (almost) 1 year ago, my water broke at 3 a.m.!  I was happy being married and living with Robbie.  I had some idea my world would change, but I had no inkling just how much. The following hours were painful, the following days surreal. We were parents.

In the following weeks/months, finding the balance between work and family has been much harder. I hate leaving her for work some days. Some days I cry the whole way to work after I drop her off. Sometimes I just call my mama. :)  She always knows how to make it better…

Oh, the difference the last year has made for Emily, who has grown and cooed and giggled and rolled and “da-da’d” and splashed and cuddled and crawled and now stands and tries to walk…  my baby is no longer a baby!  :)  Here’s some photos from her birthday party this weekend.

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love doubts…

It’s hard to believe Valentine’s day is tomorrow.  In the past 12 months, my vision of “Love” has changed so much, it is difficult to express in words!  The overwhelming love I feel for Em each and every day is amazing, and because I love her more and more, it feels like I love Robbie more and more and when it feels like I love them more it feels like I love EVERYBODY more!  It seems like with this overflowing fountain of love abundance I would be bouncing like Tigger all the time!

But, alas, that is not how the world works, not how life works. In the past 2 months, I have watched 2 people who are dear to me suffer loss. One the loss of a child, one the loss of a husband.  I have tried to intercede for them in prayer. I have tried to encourage and support them.  Have I done a good job? God only knows. I hope so. Has any of it been helpful? God only knows. But hopefully they know I am here if they ever needed anything at all.

It’s easy to see God’s love in the good times, isn’t it? To see his joy, like he’s smiling down on you. But what about the bad times?  What does God’s love look like then?  The mother who has lost her child feels cheated, purposeless.  The God who “loves” her has taken her child from her at age 6.  The widow feels abandoned, betrayed, her self-worth is in question, she is persecuted and some nosy people are judging her.  The God who “loves” her has “let this happen” (as people say).  The lies have run so deep.  How can these two strong women of faith move forward?  It’s enough to make even this love-high person start to doubt love… what it looks like, what it is, that I have it in my life, that I even begin to grasp it.

Then God reminded me that I can believe in love; I can believe in him and that he has it all under control. Because “Love is patient, Love is kind, it does not boast or envy.  It is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”   (1 Cor 13: 4-8)

These friends are making it, even with the struggles facing them, because they believe in the Love of God more than the love of man. Praise God for his many blessings in my own life and for the strength he has given my friends. Lord, please continue to hold them in your arms and give them peace. Please pray for my friends and for those around you who are struggling with Love.

I know this has not been the happiest, post, so here are a few pics to brighten it up.

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Your great name

One of my recent posts referenced names of God following the “Jehovah-” line. This theme of “names” keeps coming up for me, which typically means God is wanting me to look at something deeper.  First it was the sermon that got me started. Then, a song by Natalie Grant, that I absolutely LOVE titled, “Your Great Name” (click to see/hear a version w/lyrics). Today, I’m back on the name theme, but for slightly different reasons.

I was supposed to teach Sunday school for our class this week and the text was from John 14 and 15.I really hate that Rob and Em are sick and I can’t actually teach! In these passages, we find John 14:12-14 “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it.”

I sure have been doing a lot of praying lately. Apparently growing up, becoming a parent, having friends who are getting married and becoming parents, plus having a career and husband can be cause to pray, imagine that!  Being from the South, a lot of people claim to be Christians. They are serious about their faith and, typically, their denomination. Denominations (I believe) are one of the biggest obstacles to reaching people with the message of Christ. (But that’s another story for another day.)  However, no matter what denomination, there seem to be some people in every single one who believe you have to pray “in Jesus’ name”.  When I first heard this, as an adult who had been a Christian for years, I thought, “For real? I’m praying, to God, therefore am I not praying to Jesus?”  But, these people were very serious about it. They said that “it couldn’t hurt” and some said, “If you don’t pray in His name it won’t be heard as well by God.”  No joke. These are real statements from real people. Of course, no one could tell me where they got the scriptural basis. I had to go hunting.

The best I can tell, the scriptures above from John 14 are where this comes from. So, when I came across these scriptures again studying for the lesson, I decided to read the study notes in my NIV study Bible.  I found this note interesting (on v. 13): “Not simply prayer that mentions Jesus’ name but prayer in accordance with all that the person who bears the name is. It is prayer aimed at carrying forward the work Jesus did–prayer that He himself will answer.”

Following this line of thought, I don’t think we should end every prayer with “In Jesus’ name, Amen” or start every prayer with “Dear Lord Jesus”.  Even following the Lord’s prayer (see Matthew 6), there is no mention of having to direct every prayer to Jesus specifically and the Lord’s Prayer is the example Jesus gave us on how to pray! But, following this line of thought, I can see where there are many times where praying in Jesus’ name could be powerful—when praying for the lost, marriages on the rocks, health and healing, deliverance.  But, I don’t think I would pray in Jesus’ name to have an efficient day at work or for job opportunities, or for an item to still be on sale, etc. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t even pray for the latter things.

Oh, and along these lines, one of the study questions on the side of the leader’s book for this day’s lesson said, “Have you ever prayed to the Holy Spirit?” …. interesting… Have I? Would I? What circumstances might prompt such a prayer?… Thoughts for another day!!!

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts about anything above. I, like you, am a work in progress and love to hear new perspectives!

Natalie Grant (Your Great Name):

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stubborn little cus!

so, does she listen to mommy’s pleas to slow down??? OF COURSE NOT!!! Tonight she took steps between me and Robbie while we held her fingers. What?!?  

Watching Em grow and change so fast has made me wonder about how God sees us. As we grow and learn new things, are there times God would want to hold us back? I look at her trying to pull up on the ottoman and find myself moving all her toys out of the way in case she falls backwards and such. Does he do that for us? Doesn’t that make a bump in the road for others or even us sometimes? I guess that’s why he says “wait” sometimes. I think we tend to relate to this meaning of waiting: “to remain inactive as until something unexpected happens.” What if waiting doesn’t mean to be “inactive”? I think many times God means for us to wait in terms of this meaning: “to be available or in readiness”.

Sure, waiting stops me from ramming my head into the wall over and over in my stubborn nature, but it also doesn’t mean to turn and run the other direction. How do I stay “available” or “ready”? By keeping my line of communication open! I can’t be ready for the call to do what God would have me to do if my phone battery is dead. I’ve got to stay alive in my walk through the Word, through active prayer, through fellowship. The next time I feel like God is telling me to “wait”, I’m gonna have to pray for a little more clarification. :)

Oh well, enough rambling… here’s some video footage of Em these days!

playing with Minnie Mouse

stinker playing silly

play time before bath time

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Please, oh please,

won’t you please slow down, Miss Em! You’re growing way too fast for mommy this week. You could just about make my cry. This week, you’ve changed to at least 2 sippy cups per day, started to actually eat your puff cereal instead of just throwing them everywhere, crawling forwards instead of backwards and today, YOU CUT A TOOTH!  What’s next? Are you gonna crawl out to the truck and drive off to college???? You’re really wearing mommy and daddy out. But, we love you!

Here’s a picture of the booger last Sunday before church, wearing the dress I had made for her first Easter dress (that turned out to be WAY too big at the time).

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