Needless to say, as soon as the sun was up good this morning, I was begging Robbie to get me out of the house.  We took an adventure around downed trees to his parents where we had an unexpected but absolutely wonderful waffle and bacon breakfast! (That’s what you get when you wake up Grandma and Grandpa at 7:30 and let them know you have the grandchild with you in the driveway!)  Em has been really sweet for the most part the last couple of days. Today she got to playing a little rough/silly and had several bumps and bruises, but she’ll make it!

As I typed the title to this blog, I noticed the first line of that song was “Here I am!”  It makes me think of 2 things… Samuel (I think) in the old testament. When he was first getting the Lord’s call on his life. He heard God calling to his name and he said, “Here I am!”… The second thing is a song based on some verses in Isaiah, “Here I am, Lord send me. Here I am, Lord I’ll go.”  In looking at all the storm damage in person today, on the news and knowing there is a lot of damage in the Black Jack community, I really would have liked to have gone down there and helped personally.  That’s a challenge I’m feeling a lot lately. How do I serve God (physically) while still being faithful to my family?  I can’t exactly leave my 18 month old on top of Robbie all day to do physical labor. I shouldn’t go do that type of physical labor being pregnant and all.  I wouldn’t feel right asking Robbie to go do it all without me if he wasn’t called to do it.  It sometimes feels helpless to say, “All I can do is pray.” But at the same time, sometimes that’s the greatest thing we can do.  I guess I’ll figure it out as I go along.

Here are some videos of our booger today:

Today (Sunday), I had a good night’s sleep, Emme was pleasant this morning. We went to a Mother’s Breakfast at church and sat with Em’s great-grandmother Ruth and her great-aunt Cathy.  The church service was very nice. These 2 girls sang a sweet song for special music called “The Best Day” and I cried like a baby. (Of course, now I realize this is a Taylor Swift song and I hope I don’t bust out every time I hear it in the car!)  Robbie leaned over with his arm around me and just asked, “You miss your Mama this morning?” and I cried and shook my head yes, but it was really more than that. It was the hope that I would get to do the things with my own baby that these girls were singing about, the things I have already done with my own Mama.

After church, Robbie cooked lunch for all of us… me, Em, his mom and dad and all his grandparents. It was so nice to have all of them here and to have Em surrounded by so much love and attention.  She missed her main nap time and ate a ton of chocolate cake, but it was worth it!  When Em got up from nap (way early), Daddy watched her while I continued to snooze on the couch off and on.  When I woke up, I saw her, sitting UNDER her highchair, just playing and she was so cute!  I look forward to every day to come with this family of mine.

Hope your Mother’s Day has been as blessed as mine!! Here are some pictures to catch you up on little Ms. Em.

Our church has a cantata or special music service for Easter and the music really is beautiful. I’m so glad to be a part of this church and this choir. The talent never ceases to amaze me. I can’t think of Easter without thinking of my grandmothers. We would always go down to Granny’s on the way to church and show off our dresses and then hunt eggs after church with all our cousins. I don’t know how we convinced the adults to come hide eggs for us or help us hunt. But we always had fun. In this year’s Cantata, there was the worship song, “Behold He Comes”. It was kind of a “mash-up” with the last verse of “It is Well with My Soul” mixed in. For those who don’t know, “It is Well…” was my Grandma Ruth’s favorite hymn. There are SO many beautiful hymns, especially for this time of year. It is hard to pick a favorite, but I was looking through the lyrics of “It is Well…” tonight and the 3rd verse is so perfect for Easter and the more I study this song, the more I see how much Grandma could have loved it and why. Here’s verse 3: “My sin, oh the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part, but the whole, is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more! Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord, oh my soul!” How could I follow that up with anything more appropriate?

after helping Em pick up eggs at daycare, I knew she’d love the church Easter egg hunt. Robbie wanted to get in on the fun as well, so he went with us. He was the photographer until he wanted his picture made with Em, who didn’t really want to cooperate as it was very windy outside and she was distracted with all the other kids playing with their eggs. Anyway, here are a few pictures for you!

But this week, things changed. One evening, while she was standing with Daddy and I was on the floor, she bumped down to her butt and crawled over all excited anxious to get my fingers. She grabbed them, pulled up and turned around holding onto my index fingers. Then, she pushed my hands away, pulled her hands in and started walking all by herself to her daddy! It was soooo cute!! I don’t know who was more proud, us or her! When she gets her balance she’ll grin really big and you can see all 4 of her teeth, or she’ll even clap for herself. It’s just absolutely adorable.

Even though she knows how to walk now, she still stumbles. She’s still not perfect, but the little booger is persistent! She keeps reaching for our hands to get back up. She trusts us to be there. She gets up again and again and again and sometimes makes gets to her next destination. Sometimes she just enjoys where she is, but it’s her persistence amazes me. And it brings to light a message, “To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor and immortality, he will give eternal life” (Romans 2:7). Here’s a bigger passage from my personal favorite, Peter:

Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 3 His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires. 5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 10 Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

As usual, here are a few pics to document Emme’s progress (and ours as we learn how to be parents and how to teach her to add to her perseverance)!

And here are links to see her progress:

Pushing toys around
Persistent!!
Walking (a few steps)

I was supposed to teach Sunday school for our class this week and the text was from John 14 and 15.I really hate that Rob and Em are sick and I can’t actually teach! In these passages, we find John 14:12-14 “I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name and I will do it.”

I sure have been doing a lot of praying lately. Apparently growing up, becoming a parent, having friends who are getting married and becoming parents, plus having a career and husband can be cause to pray, imagine that!  Being from the South, a lot of people claim to be Christians. They are serious about their faith and, typically, their denomination. Denominations (I believe) are one of the biggest obstacles to reaching people with the message of Christ. (But that’s another story for another day.)  However, no matter what denomination, there seem to be some people in every single one who believe you have to pray “in Jesus’ name”.  When I first heard this, as an adult who had been a Christian for years, I thought, “For real? I’m praying, to God, therefore am I not praying to Jesus?”  But, these people were very serious about it. They said that “it couldn’t hurt” and some said, “If you don’t pray in His name it won’t be heard as well by God.”  No joke. These are real statements from real people. Of course, no one could tell me where they got the scriptural basis. I had to go hunting.

The best I can tell, the scriptures above from John 14 are where this comes from. So, when I came across these scriptures again studying for the lesson, I decided to read the study notes in my NIV study Bible.  I found this note interesting (on v. 13): “Not simply prayer that mentions Jesus’ name but prayer in accordance with all that the person who bears the name is. It is prayer aimed at carrying forward the work Jesus did–prayer that He himself will answer.”

Following this line of thought, I don’t think we should end every prayer with “In Jesus’ name, Amen” or start every prayer with “Dear Lord Jesus”.  Even following the Lord’s prayer (see Matthew 6), there is no mention of having to direct every prayer to Jesus specifically and the Lord’s Prayer is the example Jesus gave us on how to pray! But, following this line of thought, I can see where there are many times where praying in Jesus’ name could be powerful—when praying for the lost, marriages on the rocks, health and healing, deliverance.  But, I don’t think I would pray in Jesus’ name to have an efficient day at work or for job opportunities, or for an item to still be on sale, etc. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t even pray for the latter things.

Oh, and along these lines, one of the study questions on the side of the leader’s book for this day’s lesson said, “Have you ever prayed to the Holy Spirit?” …. interesting… Have I? Would I? What circumstances might prompt such a prayer?… Thoughts for another day!!!

As always, I would love to hear your thoughts about anything above. I, like you, am a work in progress and love to hear new perspectives!

Natalie Grant (Your Great Name):

Watching Em grow and change so fast has made me wonder about how God sees us. As we grow and learn new things, are there times God would want to hold us back? I look at her trying to pull up on the ottoman and find myself moving all her toys out of the way in case she falls backwards and such. Does he do that for us? Doesn’t that make a bump in the road for others or even us sometimes? I guess that’s why he says “wait” sometimes. I think we tend to relate to this meaning of waiting: “to remain inactive as until something unexpected happens.” What if waiting doesn’t mean to be “inactive”? I think many times God means for us to wait in terms of this meaning: “to be available or in readiness”.

Sure, waiting stops me from ramming my head into the wall over and over in my stubborn nature, but it also doesn’t mean to turn and run the other direction. How do I stay “available” or “ready”? By keeping my line of communication open! I can’t be ready for the call to do what God would have me to do if my phone battery is dead. I’ve got to stay alive in my walk through the Word, through active prayer, through fellowship. The next time I feel like God is telling me to “wait”, I’m gonna have to pray for a little more clarification.

Oh well, enough rambling… here’s some video footage of Em these days!

playing with Minnie Mouse

stinker playing silly

play time before bath time

When my mind wandered this morning, it was to, “There’s no god like Jehovah, There’s no god like Jehovah–my Healer, There’s no god like Jehovah–my Provider, There’s no God like Jehovah–my Victor!” and each line just filled my heart with so much more joy. In the last week, I’ve rejoiced in the holidays with my family over their health and being together. I’ve felt some heartache as I left my mountain home to come back to my east coast home. I’ve been excited for 2 friends who have gotten engaged and for the new life being born in my family. And I’ve wept for a new dear friend who lost her son in a tragic accident the day after Christmas. My prayers for 2011 include that everyone in my circle and family would know there’s no god like Jehovah. There is none like Him. Behold He comes!

Where I mean to be going is on the topic of Hallelujahs. “Hallelujah” literally means “Praise Yahweh” (the ultra special name for God used by the Hebrews in the old testament) or “Praise the Lord”. I’ve heard it said before that Hallelujah translates the same way in every language which I always found reassuring and just out and out awesome. Then I heard an Amy Grant song the other day I hadn’t heard before. Yep, that’s right, Amy Grant. It was called “Better than a Hallelujah”. At first it struck me as odd, b/c I was like, “What could be better than saying, ‘Hallelujah’ to God?” It’s the highest praise… but is it? Music has been important my entire life. I was saved at a Wednesday night music practice. The lyrics and the melodies carry a message to my heart better than any other. I remember singing in the LRC A Capella choir and how much I enjoyed hearing all those voices blend in Hallelujahs and I couldn’t imagine anything more beautiful or pleasing to God.

After I had Emily, there was a night that I was up at 2 or 3 a.m. trying to get her back to sleep. I was holding her in her room by the crib, in the mostly dark, singing songs to her and I was completely overwhelmed by the love I felt for her, the praise I needed to give God for her and the lack of words I could pour out. I couldn’t come up with one better than “Thank you” out loud or even in my head! All I could do was cry. Upon hearing this song, I saw that moment for what is was, “Better than a Hallelujah”. An honest moment with God. He knew my thoughts before I could speak them and I was being 100% real with him. Oh how I wish I could be that honest everyday!

Here’s the lyrics to the song from this week. You can hear my rendition of it at http://www.blackjackchurch.org/sermons.asp (if not today in a couple of days). While you’re there, stick around and hear the message. Pastor Philip was really bringing it today! As always, I would love to hear your thoughts!

Better Than a Hallelujah (by Amy Grant)

God loves a lullaby, in a mother’s tears in the dead of night
Better than a hallelujah sometimes
God loves the drunkard’s cry, the soldier’s plea not to let him die,
Better than a hallelujah sometimes

(Chorus)
We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody, beautiful the mess we are,
the honest cries of breaking hearts, are better than a hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life, the dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what’s been done, the silence when the words won’t come
Are better than a hallelujah sometimes

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody, beautiful the mess we are,
the honest cries of breaking hearts, are better than a hallelujah.

(Bridge)
Better than a church bell ringing, Better than a choir singing out, singing out

We pour out our miseries, God just hears a melody, beautiful the mess we are,
the honest cries of breaking hearts, are better than a hallelujah.

Here’s a verse about the Holy Spirit as we get started:

John 14:25-27

²⁵“All this I have spoken while still with you. ²⁶But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. ²⁷Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (NIV)

Have you ever seen the trees blowing in the wind before it rains?  The way the leaves turn up so you see the lighter side and the difference the wind running through them makes a rustling sound?  It is a gorgeous and peaceful sound… the way I would imagine the trees giving their praise and worship.  They are standing there, tall and proud, “raising” their hands and the wind helps them “applaud” the splendor of His creation.   This is how I envision the Holy Spirit, like the wind that blows through, reminding those trees to lift their hands in praise, bringing the peace that comes with the breath of fresh air, a reminder that can wash over us again and again, even as a demonstration of the power of God when the wind rips through them.  It’s the whisper of the wind through those leaves that we hear with our ears. It’s the applause of Heaven that we can see demonstrated by nature. It should be our reminder of God’s glory so we will also give praise. If the trees can lift their hands and even bow down to His majesty, shouldn’t we?

I also like “the Counselor”… What is a counselor? Someone we go to for their advice/knowledge (like for dealing with a problem), someone who stands on our behalf (think lawyers, “counsellors”).  In the KJV, that part is translated, “the Comforter”.  All these words to me are so comforting, empowering even.  I have so much to learn!

Now it’s your turn. How do you envision the Holy Spirit? Am I the only one who struggles with this concept?

When I was growing up, VBS meant taking all our little friends with us to have fun at church.  Did it occur to us that we were actually learning something? Probably not at the time. I don’t know about the others, but I sure did. And I realize more everyday just how much I did learn!  For example, each day when I change Emily’s clothes in the morning and at night, I always say, “UP and OVER!” as I pull her onesies over her head… then, the song begins… and it comes from out of nowhere or out of somewhere deep inside… “Running over, running over, my cup is full and running over, since the Lord saved me, I’m as happy as can be, my cup is full and running over….” and I see Jean Hess or Joanne Poe making the motions in front of the group and everyone following along.

See Psalm 23:4-6:  ”You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”(NIV)

We were learning so much more than little songs and phrases, things that stick, like “meat” on our bones.  It’s so important to me to root Emily in the same things. I want her to lean back on these things that are rooted so deep she can’t run from them.  She’s 4 months old. She goes to church (most weeks).  She’s going to VBS and not just to stay in the nursery!  Tonight, I actually left her with the choir secretary, Ms Hazel, b/c Robbie wasn’t there yet and it was my night to volunteer in the nursery.  I left her with someone she really didn’t know (but I knew well), just so she could hear the music and see the bigger kids.

But there’s something missing from VBS in Black Jack…. adults.  When I was a kid, you had at least 1/2 as many adults as kids at VBS, even people who didn’t have kids…. now, not so much.  I love that Emily is watching the bigger kids and will (hopefully) follow in their steps, but who are the bigger kids looking up to?  Are their parents present or did they drop them off and leave?  The 2-3 teachers per class?  There’s a lot more than 2-3 kids in each one… (there are 120 kids enrolled at VBS this year).  I know it’s the end of summer, but if you get a chance, go with your kids to VBS.  I guarantee your heart will be touched.  If VBS has already passed in your area, then go with your kids to church and read Bible stories to your kids. You won’t regret it!